The troubling thing about living is the complication of people. And when you remove God from the equation, your attention goes every which way, and man, yourself is the target. And whether it be good or negative attention, its unquantifiable. I know I am not the first person to have this revelation, and I wont be the last either. That is what is both encouraging and discouraging to me about life, is that, their is a collective and equal struggle we all are facing. But its getting level headed and seeing the bigger picture together that makes things feel more complete.
It disgusts me that anyone would worship me, or admire me. I am not anything to be desired. This is not lack of self esteem, or low confidence, this is agreeing with reality. That I am a person of many others. And I will succeed and fail many times over. But its the pursuit and the ability to go out and try that narrows your options and outcomes.
I watched the re-make of Cape Fear last night, with Robert Deniro. I remember that movie actually pretty vivid. And it was a hard watch. Because there was so many different elements to the movie, that you honestly didn’t know who to hate or like in it. It does get downright trashy and sleazy, so if you are sensitive to that kind of thing, please avoid it all costs.
Ultimately the legal representative was exemplifying the pitfalls of allowing little subtle sins to succeed in your life. The main character was flirting with another woman, another co-worker. It was “friendly”, and playful. But that right there, was the ignition in the light, to detonate the uncompromisable sin. And ultimately it costed a lot to the characters in the movie.
I am sure a lot of you can relate to this, and even myself get caught off guard. People have appetites, and particularly of the sexual kind. And if you don’t handle with it God, you are going to be subjected to limitless shame. And what about shame? well, it seems today that the world has done away with that kind of talk. Now its embraced and celebrated.
I know of a man from X, he spoke in front of city council about a children’s book detailing sexual exploits. I remember as a kid the damage of seeing perverted and disgusting comics as a kid. Because I couldn’t as a child understand it or comprehend it. And it damaged me as a person.
And now today, we have advocates and people in positions of power of government and city, that not only encourage it, but they dedicate a month to it and celebrate it.
I am not obsessed, I am disgusted that its in my peripheral view. That its even a discussion or topic around the neighborhood. I am sad to see people who succumb to it.
