legalize suicide

Psycho paranoia or the ability to absolutely navigate a problem that is unaddressed? I am speaking specifically about the legalization of suicide. Not just suicide for the terminally ill, but suicide for any living breathing human which wishes to cease existence. Why can allow Hollywood to propagate movies like the Hunger Games, the Purge and the Belko Experiment (notably even mayhem). It’s as if we have (sub)consciously expressively portrayed the decaying animal instincts of human beings, allowed it into popular culture. I am not sure when but I can guarantee that overpopulation of the world will become the thesis behind all of this. We are degenerately innate to relate to some kind of prospect of hope, but the only hope is what is inside.

The idea of suicide is morally benign and the church is expressive in disabling it. They are corrupt vultures that would rather watch humans destroy themselves from the inside out, watching a miserable human writhe and twitch before themselves or somebody twists the neck and puts it out of their own misery. Would you watch while a deer lay half dead twitching and bleeding out, before you grab a rock big enough to release it from its pain.

We offer a humane way for somebody to end their life. This will never happen. And reason is money. Not money for the cost of procedure. But the money that is being made from misery. If this indeed happened. There would be empty psychiatric hospitals, psychiatrists, pharmaceuticals etc. etc. There is the moral particle and the greedy apologia.

Let’s ignore the suicidal, the miserable, the leeches and the bottom feeders of society. After all what is the purpose of perfection if there are not those we can snub are noses to.

 Is this an equation of some kind of utopia?

identity, purpose and contradictions

(if this at all sound authoritative, I apologize in advance. These are only ideas that come into my brain, and I want to express them through this blog)

An identity if anything but being a working, breathing, fucking, sleeping and eating creature… just like any other biological specimen is a contradiction to our existence. We have some kind of idea that the media, fashion or whatever else gives us a sense of purpose is important. When we strip away the layers of diatribe prescribed by the television, movies, music, internet we get a false identity. 

I always tried to abandon the popular ideas that our society accepts, only to find myself sad, lonely and confused. But in reality the herd moves instinctively about ideas and lifestyles that match society. They are not actually looking for individuality they are only trying to enjoy the pleasures of life like any other homo-sapiens should. 
The ability to appease the conscience by whatever means necessary is absolutely essential to survival and success in life. To belittle and berate the beliefs of those who live successful and fulfilling lives is a sign of inferiority and displeasure with your own existence. 
This has been a bit wildly described and confusing, though unintentional and a bit contradictory to my first paragraph. My whole intention was to write about the identity crisis in america, particularly in the mental health of human beings. I think it is acceptable to be interested in media, but I also think that the most important regard to identity is the ability to survive. I think identity should be in regards to the animals around us, the ones who instinctively move about and obey nature. It will never be that easy for humans, we have this necessity to please our own species by means of false identity. The more we nurture false identity the more we encourage behavior that contradicts our existence.
In summary, live to succeed and accept the principles that encourage growth. It’s absolute polarity, it makes no sense and I think that is the key-piece to living. We expose we contradict we abandon and expose, circling in a endless confusion. But when we accept and adapt, we begin to find living through confusion is acceptable. Besides all of that, the pleasures of life are more enjoyable. 

survival of the fittest

I am not good with predictions, prophecy or telling the future. Infact I keep my mouth shut when it comes to predictions, I would rather watch the cards fall, and then decide for myself accuracy. It isn’t so much recognition, but more so a hint at something invisible, maybe spiritual, something that hints at a power that exceeds our human ability. After all my body collects the oxygen to let blood flow, there must be something that hints at a power greater than ourselves.

It’s difficult to accept life, and secular human beings when you made up for yourself a certain moral law that is dictated by the spiritual. You criticize, antagonize human life. But at our core, we acknowledge a moral law, something to differentiate good and bad. Ravi Zacharias/CS Lewis, both believe that if a moral law exists, than there must be a more lawgiver. The moral law giver of course being god. I have a problem with this idea, only because I think that our environment our reality that is around us dictates wrong and right. I think they are not so much concerned with environmental and surroundings, but more with a singular aspect that reflects onto all human beings. The idea that there are certain things that exist in all of us, and we can all agree that they are in all human beings. We are all affected by certain stimuli, things that are spiritual and non existent in the physical.

It’s hard for me believe that a god imbedded in us certain laws and rules, that if permitted result in a barrier around us, that crushing guilt and conscious wrong. Why do human beings feel this, some human beings (strong ones) can outright resist the idea of wrong in themselves. They are the herd, they follow the physical and resist the spiritual. After all anything that negates a successful lifestyle  must be resisted and thrown away from our consciousness. We have wronged one, or a whole lot more, but we do not allow ourselves to fall into self pity. This reminds me of teachings by Nietzsche, he believes that christianity or spiritual beliefs are all human weakness. He believes in the herd instinct the powerful, the courageous and daring.

I haven’t a clue about where I stand in all of this. But I feel the crushing blows of reality, I have a hard time ignoring the consequence. I fall into the weaker category, but somehow I feel as if I am aligned with something spiritual, something that exists outside of myself. I do not subscribe to certain institutions and churches. The older I get the less I see the exposure of life, but more the love of money and ignore the weaker human beings. Let the herd throw them out, they waste the oxygen somebody with a spine could have. I believe in suicide, only because when a human has no purpose, nothing to permit itself to success. The greatest pain I could endure is the absence of family. That would be a pain I could not endure through.

why should we die?

If we ask “why we should die?” the same should be asked why we exist. If the two have no purpose than the other, than it would be easy to answer this question, or the hypothesis, and that is there is no meaning in the two. So if your goal and ambition is death, then there is nothing to detract the purpose. The contradictory purpose of existence. Each escalated thought and idea, runs madly into a wall.

I wonder if since I think about this, than maybe there is purpose, maybe there is meaning. And if I answer yes, to that question, then there is a grave mistake in weighing in no purpose. Because if there is purpose, than that means that there was a creator to our existence. For whatever reason, enjoys to watch us, make a mistake in our decision, and end it all. Or maybe he offers this choice as an option to join him. But I can only imagine that he would not allow us to enter life at his time, than to disregard his time and take matters into our own hands and end it, without his consent.

image courtesy of dead congregation

I feel a grim reality in circumstance, and that, to me makes it easy to take orders into my own hands. The writing on the wall is something existential. The wall we run into, expecting collapse, or demise, but the same wall we accept collision, only lands us back onto our feet. Is this endurance to collapse, and get back up, the necessity of life. Is a creator balancing self hatred, and the endurance to find him in our recklessness.

I am not bringing up anything new to the table, this has all been discussed and observed as well as explained much better than I can. But I just wanted to express a though running through my mind. And a reason to do some graphics.


This summarizes my beliefs, or lack thereof. I do to an extent feel a nagging on my spirit to exist, by something outside myself. But I will not subscribe to a human institution that brings about only contradiction and hypocrisy. I love the line, “if the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation for divine reward…”. This first season has some really excellent writing in it, a good deal of t&a but only to expose the aforementioned hypocritical views of the “believer”.

Irrelevancy will ensue beyond this point –> Its amazing how much restraint and discipline I have experienced from a lifestyle abstinent from sexual impulse and desire but also the ability to think for self, and avoid external influence (albeit the things which have a ring of truth to myself). I want to become something better than what I have been, which hasn’t been much at all.

Discipline of desires, not feeding the beast that gets hungry for the wrong things. Denying self the pleasures that only distract it from purpose, consequential circumstance will always remind it of purpose. It’s ignorance to continue down a path without realizing the consequence, I have to live with the conviction of my consequences. Betterment with a purposeful intent.

I am alive today not because nature interfered, but because the plug wasn’t pulled by a human being. I put myself in the position to be resuscitated, it was not divine interference, I think we all know in our minds what will be the outcome of our actions. If experience has taught me one thing, it is that, outside of myself no thing will clear a path for myself, the process can only be accomplished by my own efforts and ability. I think when a person hurts themselves and then considers their own survival because god pardoned them from death is selfish and hypocritical. How selfish of a person to believe the universe owes them something, myself included.

This ended up less coherent that I would have liked, but I felt the need to vent.

three green bears eating honey and wafers while discussing life’s anomaly

There is a commonality to man, we all have this addressing issue of proving ourselves, whether aggressively or in a passive way (passive-aggressive). Within the current time, we find homosexuality an acceptable lifestyle and as such, man finds nothing more intolerable and offensive to have their masculinity in question than by being called a homosexual. A sensitive heterosexual man will endure a great deal of insult in the aforementioned.

Have a interest in human beings, and they will find a way to belittle and preserve themselves in a hierarchy construct to rank themselves highest above the rest. Those who wish to find acceptance, and be set aside in commonality will endure insult with the only intent to be socially accepted. This is the psychological equivalent of physical combat, with the only proponent to avoid actual physical fighting. The worse feeling a man may have, than to be mentally defeated, having no outlet to retaliate. I would rather receive a physical beating than to have a man feel some kind of superiority over me.

This reintroduced idea of mans behavior relating to animal conduct. A supposed christian idea of the fallen nature, the betrayal of god in the garden. If the theological principles hold any ground, than why do we all behave predictably the same? why do we have such this inclination to preserve delusion?

Man has this desire to contradict purpose

We want nothing more than to be accepted by human beings, we desire and yearn for the affirmation and welcoming agreement.

I only write this so somebody might know that I exist.

I feel like something outside of myself is directing me, that is the only reason why I try to continue and exist. Something powerful outside of me, that is greater than human beings.